Letter from Jennifer Kolbek to Pastor Alamo
Dear Tony,
I will begin my letter with this picture Bert Krantz found of my husband John. He was in Washington, D.C. when you were in prison in Memphis many years ago. It is the first time I have seen this picture, and I wanted to send it for you to add to your collection. Although it was taken many years ago, this was him up to the very end. I myself will frame it.
We had his funeral on January 21st at 2:00 in the afternoon. I did not want to go have a funeral, because I just wanted to feel like he was out on a long tracking crew, and would be home soon. I felt like I had a hole on the left side of my body that was approximately 13 inches long and 7 inches wide. The sorrow seemed unbearable. And John’s family came to the funeral.
John’s younger brother, two of his children, and his mother came the day before the funeral. John’s brother loved him dearly. He was saved at the church three years ago. He has stood behind this church all the way through this ordeal, and he wants to move in as soon as his custody issues with his kids are resolved (his wife is a drug addict). John’s mother was favorable towards the church, and even wrote a letter that is in the Foundation book, but with all the things she heard about us, she sided with Desiree’, although she does not like Desiree’.
A half hour before the service began, John’s sister, her husband, their 25 year old daughter, and John’s other brother came walking into the church with Desiree’ between them. Desiree’ was not recognized at first, and I was not there yet. Desiree’ was told to leave. She caused a scene, and the part of John’s family that came with her got very angry. They sided with Desiree’ and with John’s other brother, who hated John. I immediately went to the church because even though they had left the building, they were still outside on church property. I marched over to John’s family, which was consoling Desiree’, and said angrily, “Where is she?” I nearly passed out with the amount of anger that swelled inside of me, mixed with the sorrow of my husband’s passing. I couldn’t believe that she would do this before the funeral. I told her, “Get out of here; I told you not to come. Your lies have put him there. You were not his family. You left us. You fought against the very man your dad fought for with horrible lies. You didn’t know your dad, you liar. I told you the conditions under which you could come.” I said, “Bert and Miriam are in there, and Greg Seago is in there. They have not seen their children for two years because of you. You think you have pain and sadness because my husband passed away? You don’t know sorrow. They live with sadness every morning and every night, and you think I will let you in our church, you witch? You have tortured families with your lies. You have tortured your own family with your lies.”
Desiree’ said, “All they had to do was leave the church, and they would get their kids back.” [Over 100 children were taken from our church because of lies told by those who falsely testified against Tony Alamo at his rigged trial in Texarkana. These satanic words out of this depraved woman’s mouth remind me of the voice of Satan in the multitude of depraved souls who said to Jesus, as He hung nailed to the cross at Calvary for the sins of the world, “If you be the Son of God, then come down off the cross! Then we’ll believe who you are (the Son of God).” In other words, all you have to do is come down from the cross and you will get your life back. But, of course, salvation would have been impossible for anyone to have before or after Christ. All Desiree, by Satan, was saying is, “Give up God, Christ, salvation, your soul, and eternal life—everything—and you will get your kids back!” Jesus said anyone who loves mother, father, sister, brother, son or daughter more than Him is not worthy of Him (Matthew 10:37). The FBI paid all the witnesses to lie about Pastor Tony Alamo because they want, more than anything, to silence Pastor Tony and to close down his church. This is because the degenerate, wicked government is terrified of the world’s greatest preacher of truth!] I said, “And be like you, you lying weasel? They would rather die than be like you.” This was all in front of John’s family, and of course, Desiree’ put on her theatrics. I told them all, “You came here like you are John’s family, you phonies. You sided against him, knowing, yes, knowing what John was before he got saved, knowing the completely miraculous change God made in John’s life through this ministry, knowing John made a stand for the truth, and knowing all the things said about our pastor, our church, and your brother, your son, were lies. Don’t think he didn’t see the things you wrote about him in those chat rooms; he saw them, and he was disgusted with you. You aren’t his family, you deserters.”
The guards were there, the funeral home people were there, and several of the brothers and sisters were there. I don’t know who exactly was there. I just knew a crowd had gathered. John’s brother-in-law stood up to console me and said, “She just wants to go to her dad’s funeral, but these men and this church won’t let her.” I looked at him and said, “No, I won’t let her. Her dad won’t let her. Now GO.” I told John’s family they were welcome to stay, but that Desiree must leave. So they left and took Desiree’ somewhere, and then they came back.
Isabel and Misheal put together a photo montage of John and the kids. It had a beautiful song playing in the background. Each of the pictures showed how happy John was throughout his life. Then Bert and Miriam put together a photo montage of just my husband and me and had our song, “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers, playing in the background. Before the service began, I brought John’s whole family in, sat them down, and said, “I want you to see this.” Seeing both of the photo montages broke their stony shell.
The service was perfect. We didn’t sing sad songs. My husband would not have wanted a weeping session. We stood, clapped our hands, and praised the Lord to the songs “Stand up, Stand up for Jesus,” “This is Like Heaven to Me,” “When We all get to Heaven,” and “Just Over in the Glory Land.” We also sang my husband’s favorite song, “My Dependable Friend,” as he said its words gave his testimony. Sally spoke about John Perez’s experience with AIDS, how he was healed, and how John had volunteered to live with them and take care of them. Steve Crook, who was a baby Christian with John, spoke. Tommy Scarcello spoke, and Dan Carson, who also took care of John Perez with my husband, spoke. They were good friends. Our son, Benjamin (who is 18), also spoke. John’s family was so proud of Benjamin (his looks, his behavior, and everything else reflected his dad, not a cult-crazed monster).
Greg Seago, who was a baby Christian with my husband, as well as a good friend, led the service, and also spoke. The Lord spoke through each individual. I wrote the following words that I have enclosed, and Greg read it. By the time the service was over, every member of John’s family was so sorry for speaking against the church and John. When they left, they were not the same. Even John’s brother who hated him, and was so hard, was being dealt with. They did not get saved, but they will not be able to shake the truth they heard there. It was perfect.
That night when I went to bed and I laid there praying, I realized the Lord had healed that painful hole that I felt on the left side of my body. The Lord filled it.
The next morning, we went to Tulsa and had the burial service. John’s family did not attend because snowstorms were coming in and they had to get back home. As we got closer to Tulsa, I became sick to my stomach and shook uncontrollably, as I knew this was the final step. I prayed to God to get control of me, thinking this was ridiculous. The service again was perfect. Bert sang “My Dependable Friend” again. This time I closed my eyes and thanked God for being there for my husband with this ministry. I thanked God that he got saved, and that I had the privilege of spending twenty years with him. I just thanked the Lord through the whole song. Then Tommy sang “Until Then,” and I raised my hands and sang this song to the Lord. Greg again read scriptures. Afterwards, when everyone was dismissed, I went to the casket and wept out all my regrets and apologies, and my sorrow for the things I could have done better. I asked if John could be my Guardian Angel. Right there I promised not to shed another tear, but to be happy and thankful.
I then asked the funeral director, “Where is the hole you will put him in?” He pointed about 100 feet away, and said they would bury him when we left. I told him, “No, I am not leaving until this is finished. Do it now.”
I am truly happy. Waves of sadness and loneliness come, but the Word of God, praying, and your messages have held me up. I take to heart and receive every word. I am proud to be a part of this ministry.
I stayed with your family in Fouke for several days, and I wanted to let you know that they are all doing very well. I have stayed many times with them in the past, and there was always friction that I sensed among them, even if it was not spoken out loud. But they have changed. There is a unity that was not put on because of my presence, but was in them. My stay was so pleasant that I hated to leave. They love you so much, and have so much they wish they could say, but some of them may not be able to put things in a letter to show this. I know love, and they love you dearly. As I continue to pray for you and for the church God created, Hallelujah! I will always remember your family, as well. They are holding up well and staying strong.
I also had another privilege, and that was that while I was here, I got to go to services in our gathering place and worship the Lord with my sisters and brothers. It was so wonderful. I prayed, “Lord, if I ever took for granted this privilege of gathering with the saints to worship, forgive me.”
Thank you, Sir, for everything. My children and I are truly grateful to be in this ministry. We GO FORWARD.
I was thinking about a dream my husband had several years ago that he told you about. I wanted to tell you again, as the Lord brought it to my mind the other day. In this dream there was a very high mountain cliff with an incline that was straight up and down, with very tiny rocks that stood out of this mountain cliff. John said he was behind you, following you, but you were scaling this cliff with such speed that he was a good ways behind you. He said he was carefully placing his hands and feet on whatever this cliff had to hold on to, but he was moving slowly. He was amazed at the speed you showed as you scaled up and around this mountain. He said by the time he got to the top, you were standing there under a beautiful bright beam of light that broke through the heavens, and that there was a bowl in front of you that had the most beautifully cut jewels in it. He said you put your hands in the bowl, picked up the jewels, and with the biggest smile he has ever seen, you lifted those jewels up to God. He said he looked closely at the jewels as they draped down out of your hands like strings of pearls, and as he looked closely, he saw that the strand that clearly held each jewel to the next was invisible. What stood out to him was that the smile on your face as you made this presentation was so big. He didn’t think it was humanly possible to smile that big.
The Lord brought Exodus 14 to my remembrance, and I pondered and meditated much on this great miracle. After all the miracles God did for the children of Israel (as all the miracles we have seen and lived), the children of Israel had no faith, and began complaining about the things Moses had done that brought them to this point, which seemed like a complete massacre. They had NO FAITH in God. The Lord pointed out to me His response to Moses when Moses cried out to God. God asked Moses, “Why are you crying out to Me? Tell the people to GO FORWARD!!! BUT (because of their lack of faith) stretch forth your rod….” I believe that if the children of Israel had stepped into that water of the mighty Red Sea and just gone forward, the waters would have parted, just like the Jordan River. I am not afraid of the Sea, nor the massive army pursuing. Nor do I have any regrets or complaints as to how this ministry God created has been run. I, for one, will go FORWARD. Your strength is a testimony that is impossible to darken with slander and lies.
My family and I send all of our love.
Jennifer Kolbek
The following letters from Jennifer were read at John’s funeral. The first one reads:
When I first saw my husband, long before we were married, it was during a service when everyone stood to clap their hands in congregation songs. He had long, blonde, curly hair, very baggy overalls, and he had his hands raised over his head, clapping them and dancing through half the length of his pew. His eyes were directed to heaven as he sang with all his heart. In all the years we were married, there were times he sternly told me, “Quit crying!! Or leave the room.” My children and I knew that he would want us to be rejoicing with him and clapping our hands. He always seemed like the kind of person that broke the mold, so as we remember him today, Rejoice.
His favorite song was “My Dependable Friend.” He said it was the story of his salvation.
The second one reads:
My husband, John Kolbek, and I were more than married; we were in love. This past May 27, 2010 was our anniversary, of twenty years that we were in love. Our love did not lessen as the years passed by, but grew deeper. “As I always told you, Honey, you are the love of my life.”
In my husband’s life before salvation, as we all know, he was an angry, violent, wretched man. He told me many times that before he got saved, he was incapable of loving. When God saved him, he was miraculously transformed into a new creature that was full of zeal, love, and kindness, filled with the Holy Spirit. He loved and respected the formidable stand and the love for souls Pastor Tony Alamo has. In his last few days, the only regrets he spoke of were that he was unable to get out on the streets to distribute the gospel literature and preach the gospel. He said many times how proud he was to be part of the Tony Alamo Christian Ministries. He told me several times in his last days that when his pain became intense, he would pray for Tony even harder. When he couldn’t sleep at night, he would pray for Tony, who is in prison on false charges. He wished so badly that he could go into the courtroom and convince everyone that Tony is innocent. Because he could not do this, he spent his time holding him up in prayer. I know my honey is happy, Oh! so happy. He used to tell me he would love me even in heaven. Many years ago, my husband told me he had a dream that he died and was in Heaven, and he asked the Lord, “What about my wife and children?” The Lord told him, “I am taking care of them.”
No one should ever think John wasted his life. He gave his life to the Creator of the Universe, and God, the Creator of the Universe, didn’t fail him. John was taken home with a smile on his face as God opened the Gates of Heaven to welcome him in.
Honey, All My Love Now and Forever,
Your Love